Carl Tashian

« Why I moved from Boston to Nashville or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Writing Everything in Snowclones | Main | Maine lake time series 2 »

Jul 29 02007 9.40p

  1. Plastic packaging
  2. TVs left on for cats
  3. Washing machine loads with one piece of clothing in them
  4. Transportation of iceberg lettuce
  5. Failing to share our power drills with each other
  6. Ski-Doos
  7. Packaging and moving bottled water and other water-like beverages around the world
  8. Excessive retail air conditioning
  9. Empty plastic bottles
  10. Keeping office buildings lit all night
  11. Keeping soy milk cold in the supermarket
  12. Incandescent light bulbs
  13. Pop radio
  14. Endless summer trust fund jet-setting
  15. Really really long limousines
  16. Fuel for driving places I could walk or bike to
  17. Dry cleaning
  18. Clothes to replace clothes thrown away prematurely
  19. Production of clothes that are never worn
  20. Moving inedible corn around
  21. Making inedible corn edible by cows
  22. Making antibiotics to keep cows alive while they eat inedible corn instead of grass
  23. Printing of credit card bills
  24. Plastic picnic utensils
  25. Manufacture of second, third, fourth, and fifth vehicles per family
  26. Mass mailings
  27. Ego SUVs
  28. Billboard production and installation
  29. Cathode Ray Tubes
  30. Heated outdoor malls in cold climates
  31. Military-industrial complex
  32. The old desktop computer that is now your personal MP3 and printer server in the corner, which you named after some Magic: The Gathering creature back in 1997.
  33. Computers used for illegal wiretapping
  34. Production and shipment of CDs
  35. Electric treadmills
  36. Inefficient motor vehicle production
  37. State control
  38. Hosting resources for www.godhatesfags.com
  39. Growth and long-distance shipment of mealy pears
  40. Refrigeration of mealy pears before being tossed
  41. Gasoline Fights ala Zoolander
  42. Everyone’s DVD players, while in “Standby”
  43. Manufacture and installation of tree wraps
  44. Clothes dryers on sunny days
  45. Spam
  46. Go Karts
  47. The machine that adds red food coloring to “farm fresh” salmon feed
  48. Production of non-refillable pens
  49. Electric toothbrushes
  50. All the bread heel slices that never get eaten
  51. Synthetic fertilizer production and distribution
  52. Conditioner
  53. Gasoline required to move the junk in your trunk everywhere
  54. Dreams we can’t remember
  55. Sidewalkless cul-de-sac hyperindividualistic everything
  56. Leaf blowers
  57. Nervous fixing of hair
  58. Torture devices
  59. Internet censorwalls
  60. Those new wipes that they’re trying to replace toilet paper with
  61. Compact Discs
  62. Doilies
  63. Oracle
  64. Supermarket rewards cards
  65. Teflon pans

There is 1 comment.

Comments

Jul 30 02007 1.28p
Phoebe Sinclair #

I’m totally guilty of many of those…including doilies (I only have one, ok!). Also, supermarket rewards cards are so bad because, when you loose your keys, the supermarket mails them back to you.

Leave a comment

(required)

(required)