Saturday September 6 2008
Well my grandpa died. I got the call that he was going about 7 am and so I shaved, and drove down to the hospital. The drive was very peaceful and grey, overcast. It was like a day from a movie. When I got to the room, my dad was there, and he said: “He’s gone.” I felt the body and it was still warm. I touched his head, and his hands. I’ve never been in a situation like that. A death situation. It was very intense and I felt very glad to have been able to witness that. I didn’t feel sad at all, only strange. I don’t know how to describe the feeling. A kind of wonder, I guess. How could there be a spirit in the body one minute, then the next, it’s gone? The family all went to Hopkins for breakfast and I talked to Carl on the phone. Dad made fried eggs for himself and mom made me scrambled duck eggs. I like chicken eggs better I think. We toasted to my grandpa, and told some memories about him, then that was it. I had to go home and get practicing for the Guilty Pleasures gig. But the gig went well, and we had a good crowd, but I drank so much Red Bull and vodka and I got kind of drunk, and I was trying to throw an empty beer bottle out the window at a passing train and I missed the window and it smashed into the wall and startled everyone, and somebody really could have gotten hurt and I felt really stupid.
I’m really sorry about your grandpa. I relate to what you said about strange rather than sad. It is very odd about the spirit thing. I used to do research on Alzheimer’s Disease and part of my job was to attend and assist with autopsies to retrieve the brain tissue I needed for my studies. It was notable to me that very thing you said, that suddenly there was simply no spirit there. We had to do the autopsies very soon after death so often the folks were still warm as you said of your grandpa. For me that feeling of no spirit was somehow comforting but I can’t say why really, just a reassurance somehow. With my dad I couldn’t really even process anything like that, I felt like I was on drugs or something, nothing seemed real. It still doesn’t. It’s been three weeks today. I keep going to call him or email him and remember he’s not there. It’s weird. Anyway, I’m sorry about your grandpa. Peace to you.
Comment by Page — September 10, 2008 @ 7:12 pm
Daniel,
I am sorry for your loss. I never knew my grandparents, they passed on before I arrived. Consider your self blessed to have had a relationship as consolence. My mom is very ill. Recently as I drove on the highway to visit with her, I took along your High Society cd and listened to it. I love it. It was the perfect soundtrack for my drive. It kept me centered. And I love those harmonies!
Peace to you & yours,
CZ
Comment by cathy zebron — September 11, 2008 @ 1:46 pm